Wakka the Girl and a Perverted Poet
by Chiaki5821
Summary: Well it's a typical day at the Destiny Islands. Come see for yourself RikuSora sort of and Kairi bashing. Deal with it, Aki! Well, yaoi in Ch 2 I think...
1. Wakka's Beginning of Womanhood

Wakka the Girl and a Perverted Poet  
  
Cowritten by ChiAki.  
  
The first chapter is written by Chi.   
  
I dont own KH.  
  
So Sora walked home from school. He stepped in mud and fell on his face.   
  
"shit."  
  
Riku was walking along too. But being the normal stupid RIku he was, reciting sappy poetry and such, he also walked into the puddle, falling not only into the mudd, but also onto Sora.   
  
"I didn't know you were like that!" Sora screamed, crawling out from Riku Who was giving raspy little groans. Sora went to get his books but Riku barked like a dog. This scared sora so he shreiked like a girl and ran away, tripping twice on the way home.   
  
~~~~  
  
Kairi was the only semi-normal, semi-insane girl in the Destiny Islands. She ate cat food for dinner and occasionally roasted one of Riku's bone's that he liked to shed like a snake.   
  
Selphie was locked up in a straightjacket from birth. Go figure.  
  
Wakka... was wakka. Normally insane as ever. At least, he was normally insane until one day he accidently hit Tidus in the nuts with his blitzball.   
  
A/n I know that sentence was rough but it's not what youre thinking you sick pervert!  
  
Tidus quickly went home, or as quickly as he could, holding onto... well you know. So as soon as he got it the door he grabbed a knife. Then he went to Wakka's house.   
  
~~~  
  
From that day on, Wakka was a normally insane girl.   
  
That and he made sure he never hit Tidus in the nuts again, as he was afraid of what Tidus would take NEXT.  
  
~~~  
  
I think the reason Riku groaned was because he was wearing a blindfold. He's kinda stupid like that. And he thought... Well no one wants to get into Riku's mind, right?  
  
*********  
  
Well there you have it. I wrote things as they came to mind, hopefully Aki will do the same.  
  
-Chi 


	2. A Favorite New Word and a Spider

Chapter 2: A Favorite New Word and A Spider  
  
I don't own KH.  
  
This is written by Chi.  
  
(Unfortunately)  
  
Wakka got an insane obsession with screaming, RAPE! Every chance he could since that *frightening* day for us and rather, well, *a turn for the good* day for him.   
  
Sora is evil.   
  
His mother is going bald, tsk-tsk-tsk for her. Poor thing. But the purpose in my writing that is the fact that she clogged the drain in the shower again, and won't get off her lazy ass and fix it.   
  
Sora is evil.  
  
You'll see why in just a minute.  
  
Sora couldn't take a shower the night he fell in the mud, so he was dirty the next day. Damn the molting mother!  
  
Riku saw him (well, heard him or something. He still has the freakin blindfold.) and told him to come to his home that night to take a shower.  
  
Sora thought this was just a friendly invitation, which of course it was not.   
  
Anyways, that night sora is evil Sora marched along to Riku's house twirling a baton. In a strapless bra. Holding a case of Budweiser on his nose. I told you, he's evil.  
  
When he reached RIku's house, Sora set down the beer and shoved the baton up Riku's cat's butt.   
  
Sora is evil.   
  
When Sora got in the shower to ... well take a shower, little did he know that Riku was a Perverted Poet as the title insinuates.   
  
He was looking in on Sora.   
  
But he thought better of making a move just yet, so he sad down and wrote some poetry.  
  
Ketchup   
  
It's better than mayonaise.  
  
Ketchup  
  
It's just like sunny days.  
  
Ketchup  
  
And don't forget,  
  
Ketchup  
  
Is da best.  
  
Sora is evil. I will now finally tell you why.   
  
After using some of Riku's "Rose scented with Rose Hips (I sware that's what it says. I bought a bottle of it)" Herbal Essence shampoo, resisting the urge to make cooing noises, which simultaneously kept him from being raped by Riku, Sora went home.  
  
The next day Sora put a spider in Wakka's locker because he knew his combination. When Wakka saw it, he screamed, "Rape!!!" just like a girl and ran away.  
  
Later on that day, Wakka was called to the Guidance Counselor's Room for a little talk, perhaps about.... well it was private.  
  
Riku was plotting another scheme about Sora. But I won't tell you what it is cuz no one wants to know what goes through Riku's mind.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Yeah... thanks for the reviews...  
  
And Aki, I so do not give a SHIT about Rikku' s voice! Thats fine if you threw her vocal collection away!  
  
NYAN!  
  
And Aniiston, thankyou for the email... It made my day! 


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